It Takes a Church to Raise a Child

Part of the reason the church exist is education and equipping of the people in it. It’s ultimate message is the Gospel but also teaching the concepts and precepts of God’s word. The church’s mission is helping people understand the need of salvation and a relationship with God and the bringing help to mankind but all this is done through a system of training and preparing christian workers to do the Kingdom work.

When we think missionally about the church, or the equipping of the saints, it is easy to forget that part of the process involves our children. Even in the earliest days of the Hebrew people, God was insistent about helping children learn about Him. This duty fell mostly to the parents but was also about the spiritual community’s effect on children.

One of the accomplished works of Jesus was the founding of the church. He was, in effect, passing on His duties to us. God’s plan, and His will,  apparently involved a system where people would work together to accomplish His work.

God is very concerned about giving children foundations and the heritage to insure that each generation will affect the next. The church is the chief avenue for this.

The church has come a long way from the mentality of “children should be seen and not heard,” in which children were shoved into back rooms with a coloring sheet and whoever was brave enough to oversee the process. We have come far in understanding the need to invest into children. We have finally began to see the pay-off of that investment and are wisely hiring Children’s pastors, building children’s facilities, and equipping children’s workers with the latest technology, and well designed curriculum, in order to win and teach children. 

But it seems that we are once again returning to the same cliche. We may be pushing the children aside once more. 

How?

Parents may be neglecting the commands of God that said to teach your children. 

"Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up." 

                         Deuteronomy 6:4-7 

Parents seem to be so distracted by the noise of life they do not hear the cry of the child, or the voice of God. God’s plan was for the greatest spiritual impact to come from the parent. It has become easy to expect a children’s pastor or Sunday school teacher to build the complete spiritual foundation of our children’s lives, and to do it all in a weekly, easy to take, quick, one hour dose. But this was not God’s plan.

We may be expecting the church’s children’s program to undo all the lessons learned at home. And, sadly to say, most homes may not be teaching the value of God in daily living because God is not part of the lifestyle, the talk, the decision making, or given any part of the family time. Is is very rare and very difficult for the value of God to rise above the model set up in the home.

Often there are many children that attend church who come from no spiritual background or have no Godly influence at home or from the family. Then what? Then the responsibility falls on the church. If the church will not take this responsibility, who will? There is no other human source for spiritual guidance. Who else has the love of Christ and the commission from Him but the church.

God expects the church to impact lives. No matter the age or learning level.   But the church is falling short. We have forsaken our children with words like, “ I don’t like children,” or “That is not my ministry,” or “I don’t have the time to invest.” We have convinced ourselves that as long as we have someone with job description that involves children’s ministry, or someone is paid “to do that,” then God will somehow will dismiss His expectations for us. 

Nancy Reagan made famous the African saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” We can go farther and say it takes a church to raise a child. When the church raises a child, they are doing more than feeding and housing a body, they are forming character, developing a lifestyle, building a citizen,  erecting a spiritual leader. The church is re-writing tomorrow’s headlines. We are emptying tomorrow’s prisons. We are removing the worry of walking down tomorrow’s dark streets. The church has the opportunity to change tomorrow’s world.

When I as a children’s pastor make a plea to my congregation for help in children’s ministries, this is not just a request but a reminder that we are a spiritual “village.” We don’t place the responsibility of our children as a society on public school teachers alone, they are only part of the factor. Our society in many way is responsible to impact our children. The same is true with the church. We are given the task as a church to change the lives of our children.

The task of the church is not only teaching children, but also protecting and guiding. We are not only here to build them a shelter for their training, but to shelter them in our arms of love and acceptance. The church is more and more become the spiritual and emotional surrogate for the children around us. 

The church, the body of Christ, should still voice: “...Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.”


It takes a church to raise a child!

Molding or A-Molderin'?

John Brown's body lies a-molderin' in the grave.

John Brown's body lies a-molderin' in the grave.

John Brown's body lies a-molderin' in the grave.

But his soul goes marching on.

(Words to a Civil War song) 

Some day (if Christ does not return) each of our bodies will lie a-molderin’ in the grave. We are all heading to the same earthly destination; the grave. It is definite and defiant. Death will call us whether we are ready or whether we have accomplished anything of value in life.

If we were to make a list of things we would like to accomplish, it would be varied. But, as parents, there might be one notation that would rise to the top of the list. That thing would be to make a positive impact on our children and who they are to be.

The gift of a child is, without argument, one of the greatest blessings and challenges we can ever face in life. After the cooing, gooing and fussing over the new life that has now arrived in our care, the day comes when we are suddenly hit with a life-shattering realization. We come to the understanding that we are responsible for shaping a life. We are nearly suffocated by the consciousness of the fact that this child will become what we model for them, and much of what we are.

There is a very sobering scripture in God’s word that is placed smack-dab in the middle of God’s law. 

Exodus 20:4-6 (CEV) Do not make idols that look like anything in the sky or on earth or in the ocean under the earth. Don't bow down and worship idols. I am the LORD your God, and I demand all your love. If you reject me, I will punish your families for three or four generations. But if you love me and obey my laws, I will be kind to your families for thousands of generations.

This scripture points out to us more than God’s destain with idols but tells a story of how the choices of parents affect children. God’s design was that parents become models for their offspring. Whether we are conscious of this or not, children will become duplicates who we are. 

One comedian said that you know you are getting old when you look into the mirror and say, “Dad, (or mom) when did you get here?” We often see more of our parents in us than we like. Yet, just the same, we can easily see how much of them is reprinted in us.

Lawrence Kohlberg did a study on the development of moral reasoning. In the study he states that around ten years of age children begin to consider what is right by what the people in their lives agree with. 

The Bureau of Social Hygiene Study, (Yes, I guess it was really called that!) in 1928 said this: 

“It is very difficult and expensive to undo, after you are married, the things that your mother and father did to you while you were putting your first six birthdays behind you.”

Years ago studies were done on specific ethnic groups that found that there were genetic propensities toward addictions that were passed down from parents. These conclusions, I think, were actually already given to us in Exodus 20. God knew the great extent of which we were going to carbon copy ourselves in our progeny. 

Garrison Keillor said, “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.” What we model for our children is not wasted. It becomes part of who our children will be. Part of God’s great plan was forming what we are, what we have learned, and what we experience of God into our children. (see Deuteronomy 4:5-9) He wants us to invest so that there is a heritage of Godly character that continues after we are molderin’ in the grave.

Our assurance from God is that keeping God as the top object of worship in our lives will insure generations of God’s favor. This is possible because we not only teach our children Godly living but pass on a heritage of how we choose (based on Godly percepts) to make decisions in our lives. In turn, when our children reproduce, in succession, their children will emulate them.

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

A Roman tombstone reads: “All we who are dead below Have become bones and ashes, but nothing else.” Yet, in reality, even if there were no eternity, we do not become just bones and ashes but we become the influence of thousands of generations. When we place God, and His Word, in the lives of our children we becoming involved in something more than teaching children good-living tricks. We are investing in a deeper spiritual side of who they are. God and His Word go deep into who they are and will become. It becomes woven into the fabric of ever decision they make and every lesson they teach their children.

A part of you lives on throughout all the generations you began. This being so, how important it is that we model what we know God wants our future to become. The headlines of tomorrow are written based on what we model today. The direction of society is founded on the blueprint you draw up with your character today. You are the mold into which you are pouring your children and your grandchildren.

The song says “But his soul goes marching on.” Your soul, when you are dead and perhaps forgotten, goes marching on. It marches on, through time, to the cadence of your words, your actions, your values, and your God.

Hodding Carter wrote: “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other, wings.” Our children need to wings to fly free, to be who God intended them to be, to make their own decisions, but the current under them will always be what you placed in them. And they need the roots of Godly parents who show Godly character in all that they are.

1 Corinthians 15:55 (KJV)
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

Death is not so final when we realize that part of what we are continues. And though we believe in eternal life, the is no victory in death when our Godly character lives on through our children.

Once life is finished were we molding or a-moldering?

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Psalm 103:17

The LORD is always kind to those who worship him, and he keeps his promises to their descendants

In A Perfect World...

Ever have one of those days when you are the last person that you want to be around? I really have too many of those. There are some days when I just don’t like me! 

Maybe you are one of those upbeat persons, that rises when a song in your heart and skip in your step. Maybe you look at yourself, first thing, in the mirror and reply, “Hey good lookin’!” or “How did I ever deserve me?” If you do, then great for you. We need to talk!

I tend to hit the alarm snooze button about 32 times, drag myself to the bathroom, look in the mirror and say something like, “Oh, you again?” I look at my receding hair, my crooked teeth, the ever increasing inner-tube around my midsection and don’t really like what I see. I want to be different. Sometimes I want to be someone else.

Then, there are days that I feel like all I do is fail, that things I do don’t really count for much, and most of what I accomplish isn’t really what I wanted it to be. I feel that life has let me down and I have returned the favor.

There is a scripture in the Bible that spoke a lot to me recently. Let me share it with you:

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

This scripture is about you and me! No doubt who the audience is in this one. The “I” in this scripture is universal because we were all made (basically) the same by the same creator.

You see, the world has a message. Our culture, especially in America, has something to say to us. It constantly barks the message that we are just not good enough. Advertisers tell us that our hair is not silky enough, our teeth are not white enough, we always weigh too much, we need new clothes, we need a better house, we need a different car, .... yadie, yadie, yadie ... etc. etc. etc.!! The message is always the same, we are not what, where, how we are suppose to be. They teach that without their methods we can never come to be who we need to be. Their message says that who you are and what you are now are just not good enough.

I think there is an osmosis to their method. It does begin to influence our opinion of who we are. I think most of us, although we dismiss this ploy, react somewhat by taking inventory of what we are, even if it is a insignificant look. 

All of God’s “works are wonderful!” I am wonderful. You are wonderful. We are “wonderfully” made. That tells us that God had a design for who he made us to be. We are made above and beyond the plain, the mundane, the ordinary! We are a “wonderful” creation. Who are we to say that what we are right at this moment is not perfection. God designed me with bad teeth, hair that is falling out, and the bulge in my middle, but that is God’s perfection. I may be a “10” or a “2” in my own eyes, but I am what God wanted me to be. To Him I am off the scale.

The world is constantly setting up models that they call “perfect!” There is the “perfect 10” model for example. They imply that attaining that model status is the ultimate goal. The models suppose two things: that it is possible to become equal to the model and that the model is an example of perfection. 

Let’s examine those thoughts for a minute. Let’s talk about the latter first: “that the model is an example of perfection.” Perfection, has a totally different look in the mind of God than it does in the thinking of our world. Excellence to God relates to His word, His will and His plan for our lives. Perfection to the world is hardly obtainable but is usually described in things that you can touch with your hands. Seldom does the world put perfection in the same realm with character, sacrifice, or spiritual qualities. Never does the world associate our measure of perfection with an example set up by Jesus Himself.

Now what about the first supposition: “it is possible to become equal to the model.” Part of the problem of worldly models is that they don’t stay the same. They drift, shift, and change.   This is touched on when Jesus talks about building our house on sand. (See Matthew 6:47-49) What is considered perfection today may not be considered thus tomorrow. One example: If you look at the art of the middle ages you may notice that many of the women were sporting quite the little pooch around the middle and seemed quite hefty. Supposedly, it was considered attractive for women to be plump during that time. During the 60’s models like Twiggy were considered the prime. Now in the 21st century we have other standards of what we consider “sexy” or beautiful. There really are no standards because standards change... which in fact, makes them not standards at all! (Does that make sense?)

Secondly, becoming equal to the model supposes that everyone has the same ability to become like the model. Many woman in the 60’s finally succumbed to the fact that, no matter how hard they tried, they could never reduce to the sticklike figure of Twiggy.  Because we are all dealt a different hand, our model of perfection should look different from that of others. 

The model of Christ is obtainable though, for all. God did not design a system that was only obtainable by a select few. No! The power to come to God’s perfection is readily at hand. Why can we all reach that model set up by God? We can reach it because He gave us all the tools and resources needed to be what He wanted us to be. We will never be able to blame God for asking us to be something and not giving us the raw materials to be just that. On top of that, the Spirit of God living in us, empowers us to change, to do, and more importantly, to succeed. Contained in you is everything you need to be perfect. Maybe this is why we read in Matthew 5:48 to “be perfect.” In God’s making you, “wonderfully”, He designed in you the ability to meet His standards of perfection.

What is perfection you ask. If I had to boil down what I think God would say about perfection to one thought, I guess, I would say this: Perfection is doing what God wants you to do, with what God gives you. 

By setting standards the world ascribes value to people. If I can’t reach the bar then I am not as valuable to the world. This is diametrically opposed to God’s system where the ultimate value is placed on all. And where God's design is perfect.

The way we feel about ourselves should always come through the filter of God’s word, His expectations, and His plan for us. We will seldom be able to match the perfection pattern that the world lays out for us. But we are designed to fit into the pattern God cut out for us... perfectly. The way we feel about ourselves will never negate how valuable we are to God. To hate, dislike, or devalue ourselves, in turn, says that God’s is not perfect in all He does. It says that our value of things is more important than God’s value system. 

Though I use the right shampoo, drive the right car, have the right weight, am I perfect? Or... will there be someone else that will come along and tell me that this perfection is wrong and I need a different perfection? Our personal goal is not to achieve a pattern that our world has set up but to come to a likeness of a perfect Christ.

Try looking at yourself through God’s eyes. When we value ourselves as God values us, we might see a different person in our mirror. We may always be able to see what we think should change in us but it doesn’t annul what God is planning for us to be. Our shortcomings, should not become a excuse for not being what God demands of us, but, neither should they cause us to sell short the value God placed on us, and the ability He has to do something great with, and through, us. The trick is letting Him perfect us.

“No one is perfect” is relative. When God is the designer, the maker, and the guide of who we are, how can we be less than perfect. Maybe this is not "a perfect world”, but really who makes that call?

Tomorrow when I wake up and drag myself to the bathroom. I am going to say to the person in the mirror, “You look perfectly wonderful!”

Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Taking Notice

A few weeks ago a new television show called “Undercover Boss” began to air. The show is a reality spin where CEOs of large corporations go undercover in their own corporations by working in various jobs, at all levels in their companies. On the CBS webpage for the show, there is a picture of one such CEO holding a mop as he talks to an employee at the bottom echelon of his organization. At the end of the show the boss is revealed to the employees and he talks about how the experience changed the way he viewed the workers and workings of the corporation.

After viewing the first few programs two notions began to strike my mind. 

The first thought had to do with particular comments and attitudes that some employees exhibited. My thoughts centered around the surprise that someone cared. Whether it was for the show itself or truly their character, the CEOs seemed interested in who the people were in their companies and the conditions of their work environments. The workers were taken back by the fact that someone would take the time to meet them at their level and express interest in their needs.

The second thing that I connected with, as CBS readily played up, was the impact that was made on the CEO himself and the workers he connected with. So far, in each show, there seemed to be a genuine epiphany that happened when there was a connection between the common worker and the top dog. That connection caused a total change of perspective of CEO, and the subordinate of the company, in how they perceived each other.

God designed not only people but community. There is something wonderful that goes down when people connect with people. Perhaps that is why fellowship is mentioned so many times in the Bible and often as one of the goals of the church. Even beyond that, there is something almost miraculous that happens when people help people. 

I don’t know if our brain releases a chemical or it is purely a God design but something, almost, magical happens when we reach out to people. Call it “warm fuzzies” (there is probably a technical name) but something turns on inside us when we touch someone’s life. There is a fulfillment that is experienced in that scenario that cannot be found in any other way.

Response to the plight of others is God’s design. When we sit and watch a commercial about starving children, we are somewhat moved but it is so easy to dismiss the issue. But when we make contact with someone in need and we begin to understand their humanness, their likeness to us, the world they live in, suddenly there is a new factor in the equation. There is an old Native American saying that says “walk a  mile in my moccasins.” The concept being that you never understand someone else’s journey in life until you actually walk the same path they do. We can really never identify with others when our world is all we know.

Perhaps one of the best known passages in scripture is found in the twelfth chapter of Matthew. We know it as the “golden rule.” The Message Bible puts it this way. 

Matthew 6:12 (The Message)
"Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get.

We have heard christians question God’s will or plan for their lives. They sit idly on the sidelines of life (and christianity) and wait for some great light to shine out of heaven to reveal specifics of a plan designed just for them. This scripture and the second greatest commandment (see Matthew 22:39-40) really boil down to revelation that God’s law is wrapped up in our connection with people. “Add up” all that God proclaimed about His will for us and this is the target of His will.

Did you notice? Did you notice the sadness of the person in the cubicle next to you.  Did you notice the tattered clothing of the child that plays in front of your house? Did you notice the loneliness of the man at the bus stop? Did you hear the crying of the baby at the doctors office? Did you notice the tear of the young woman you sat beside in church Sunday? Connecting with people is about being aware.

Is time to blame? Are the days really getting shorter, as we get older. Is there really too much to do? Yes, if we choose to believe that. Or is there time for people in our lives? Should there be? Do we believe that? Do we fail to hear the plight of those around us because of the noise of our personal world? 

I think God’s plan for us is to identify with our world. To notice and to go into their world at the risk of our personal loss. We have to ask the spirit to quicken us to notice people around us. 

There is a story of a young lady named Kitty Jenovese that was attacked in New York while people noticed. In fact, she was attacked 3 times with in 35 minutes, while 37 people noticed. The issue was not that people in that neighborhood did not notice but those who looked on supposed that someone else was coming to her aid; someone else was calling 911. Kitty died that day, while people noticed.

Taking notice is more than seeing. God took notice to our dilemma but He did not sit back. He was not happy to do nothing but observe. He took action. And isn’t that the real gospel? A God who becomes involved with the people He loves. The demonstration of God’s love was found in the sacrifice of His Son. Taking notice of our eternal doom drove God to act on our behalf. 

Could it be that at those times when we do notice, it is God steering us and others into a collision path? Perhaps He pilots our lives so that we are thrust into someone’s world so that we are shocked into noticing; noticing their need, noticing their condition, noticing their helplessness.

Why is it so amazing to people when someone steps out of their life to intervene? Why is it foreign when someone gives themselves for a cause that brings them no benefit? Because it is not the way of the world.  But shouldn’t it be so common among Christians that it comes as no surprise to the world around us? When a christian helps, should the response from our world be, “that is what we expected!”

Noticing is not hard. It can come like a brisk wind, but it can leave just the same. Those of us with the heart of God should notice, but cannot just notice. We are compelled to reaction. We are driven to affect. Why? Because our heart is the heart of a Father who is ordained to act on the behalf of others.

Listen. Look. Feel. Contemplate. Process. Take in the world around you. Shut out the noise of who you are and notice. Notice that prompting of God’s spirit. And in that noticing, you manifest the character of a Father who certainly took notice of you.