Life Lesson

Life is the great lesson. It’s ups and downs, tragedies and triumphs, it’s victories and defeats can provide great insights into living. Though, I hate when it preaches to me. When it reminds me of my shortcomings and stands there with it’s arms crosses and ask, “Now what are you gonna do about?” It causes me to stand at the crossroads and ask me to choose a different path.

Many times life teaches lessons that God would have us pass on. We pass on life’s lessons to our children in hopes (many times) that they will not repeat our mistakes. Our children are our responsibility and therefore, we seem to be that much more compelled to pass on what we have learned to ensure their success.

Sometimes the lessons we learn are meant for others. How many times have we sat in a situation and listened to a speaker share his own foibles, and how the situation squared up, face to face, with them, and taught them a valuable lesson. Perhaps how it changed their lives.

As a child you may have heard something like this...”If all the other kids jumped off a cliff would you jump off a cliff too?” This was a way of our parents helping us understand we can’t follow others who are blind to life’s lessons. They wanted us to understand that they (our parents) had already jumped off some cliffs and were sorry that they did. 

Yet, personally, I wonder if my thinking is open to the failures of others. Do I see the lessons in what others have accomplished; their successes, as well as, learn from other’s failures.

I have become quite aware a lesson of my own failure recently. It was a lesson about me but when I share it, there may be something for you to learn. I hesitate in sharing this lesson because it could be construed as preachy or confrontational. It certainly hit me this way. But, I had to ask whether I would learn from this, or would build walls of defense around all the good things I thought I was. 

The reason I write this is to share what I have learned and hope that you can learn from my experience, and might not take a leap off the proverbial cliff.

My lesson:

For about five days, I lay in a room by myself, in considerable pain. I struggle to get up and down and needed help cleaning and bandaging my wounds. It was a difficult time, but what made it more difficult was suffering alone.

Maybe what they say, “misery loves company,” is true on more than one account. I believe that inherently God built into us the need for companionship. We need and crave loving attention. When we are miserable, in pain, or feeling discouraged or distraught, we find comfort in knowing that someone cares that we hurt. Even the scriptures bear out the reassurance that God knows our plight. The Spirit is referred to as the “Comforter.” Even Jesus in His time of great distress, in the garden, ask three of His disciples to pray with Him, going back to check on them three times. Perhaps this was another indication that Christ was truly human, thus needing support in His hour of distress. 

As I lay in my room alone, I wondered if anyone cared that I was hurt. I wanted to know that someone cared enough to do something for me. Then my attention was shifted to myself. I recalled  so vividly the times that I had made this statement: “Let me know if you need anything.” I began to realize how stale, shallow, and unheart felt these words really were. I began to understand that this was my scape-goat. It pacified my spirit and somehow made me think I had done something that would live in the annals of the Christian sacrifice hall of fame. I had taken the effort to call someone in distress and offer to do something at their beckoned call. What a servant I had become.

But... as I survey the situations where I made this kind of statement it turned around and slapped me in the face. “What did I want from people, when I lay in the bed in pain?” I asked myself. Did I want someone to show up with hot soup, or to change my bandage, or would I want someone to say, “let us know if you need anything?” No. I wanted to know someone cared enough to do something.

If I was truly honest, I know that most people will ask nothing from me. Many times times people feel humiliated by not being able to take care of themselves. Very few people will call me and tell me, that they are in pain and need a hand to hold, that they need food or other necessities of life, or that they just would like comfort from someone who cares. Most of the time I get a response that says, “we’ll be ok,” or “don’t worry, we will be fine.”

The hard to face truth is, that in many cases I know there is a need. When I know that someone lost their job, I know they may need certain resources. When someone is sick, I know that that some things will make them feel better. But, it is easier for me to suffice my need to serve by a quick call or text that says something about getting well soon. But then my mind was jerked (by God’s Spirit I think) to the book of James. 

“What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?”   -  James 2:14-16

This was written to me. I claimed my faith, as a badge or trophy to show to everyone around, so that they could see what a wonderful Christian I was. I was a man “of faith!” But I was finding out that my faith was dead.

I really wasn’t even religious because James had just told me:

“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”  -  James 1:27

So there I was laid open for God to see. This pain had led me to understanding that I could feel sympathy (feeling pity or sorry for others) but seldom felt empathy (the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.) This was why Jesus became one of us. He wanted to empathize. Sympathy says, I am so sorry that you are in this condition but Christianity has to do with empathy. Christians “should share the feelings” to the extent that it moves them to pain. (Remember how Paul said that if one member suffered we all should suffer?) When moved to pain, we react, we try to squelch or sooth our misery. We never go to the doctor to hear him say, “I am sorry that you hurt. That will be fifty bucks!” No! We want relief. We want to fix the problem and to know the steps to becoming well. 

I can’t fix very many problems. But I have to ask if I have tried. It is so easy to tell a crippled man you want him to make his journey without pain, but it is christian to become his crutch.

I had to remember the illustration, that Jesus, Himself, gave. (Read it yourself in Matthew 25) He told of a judgement and a separation of goats and sheep. If you read all of the story you find out what the difference was between those who pleased God and those who did not. As complicated as the illustration could be made to be, the bottom line was that some did not meet a need when they saw it. I picture them picking up their cell phones and texting to someone, “I know you are out of work, sick, hungry and thirsty, and in prison, but... if you need anything, give me a call. I am there for you.”

Wow! What a lesson. I had to apologize to my Lord. I will have to make some calls of apology too. I have been a goat. I have seen so many needs, there has been so much pain, I have ignored so many who needed friendships, and I pass it off with a “We’ll be praying for you!” I need forgiveness.

I know, this is a hard lesson for me but lessons are for learning. God’s lessons are not for condemnation but to express to me where/what God wants me to be and how He wants to use me. After all, I pray for that all the time. “Jesus, I just want to be used by you! I just want to make a difference in someone’s life!” Then I pick up my phone and proceed to ignore the very servitude that God called me to.

Paul said that we are to take on the nature of Christ. What was that nature? He became a servant. So what is a Christian servant’s duty? He is to do the will of His master. And what is my master’s will? To love others as I do myself.

I tend to forget pain when it goes away. But... I hope that God will not let me forget this lesson. It is to be learned. And though it came through this pain, that still plagues me, for the time being, I am very blessed that God would take time to speak to me. Perhaps that I can learn and help others learn though this life lesson.

“In a Perfect World”

Ever have one of those days when you are the last person that you want to be around? I really have too many of those. There are some days when I just don’t like me! 

Maybe you are one of those upbeat persons, that rises when a song in your heart and skip in your step. Maybe you look at yourself, first thing, in the mirror and reply, “Hey good lookin’!” or “How did I ever deserve me?” If you do, then great for you. We need to talk!

I tend to hit the alarm snooze button about 32 times, drag myself to the bathroom, look in the mirror and say something like, “Oh, you again?” I look at my receding hair, my crooked teeth, the ever increasing inner-tube around my midsection and don’t really like what I see. I want to be different. Sometimes I want to be someone else.

Then, there are days that I feel like all I do is fail, that things I do don’t really count for much, and most of what I accomplish isn’t really what I wanted it to be. I feel that life has let me down and I have returned the favor.

There is a scripture in the Bible that spoke a lot to me recently. Let me share it with you:

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

This scripture is about you and me! No doubt who the audience is in this one. The “I” in this scripture is universal because we were all made the same by the same creator.

You see, the world has a message. Our culture, especially in America, has something to say to us. It constantly barks the message that we are just not good enough. Advertisers tell us that our hair is not silky enough, our teeth are not white enough, we always weigh too much, we need new clothes, we need a better house, we need a different car, .... yadie, yadie, yadie ... etc. etc. etc.!! The message is always the same, we are not what, where, how we are suppose to be. They teach that without their methods we can never come to be who we need to be. Their message says that who you are and what you are now are just not good enough.

I think there is an osmosis to their method. It does begin to influence our opinion of who we are. I think most of us, although we dismiss this ploy, react somewhat by taking inventory of what we are, even if it is an insignificant look. 

All of God’s “works are wonderful!” I am wonderful. You are wonderful. We are “wonderfully” made. That tells us that God had a design for who he made us to be. We are made above and beyond the plain, the mundane, the ordinary! We are a “wonderful” creation. Who are we to say that what we are right at this moment is not perfection. God designed me with bad teeth, hair that is falling out, and the bulge in my middle, but that is God’s perfection. I may be a “10” or a “2” in my own eyes, but I am what God wanted me to be. To Him I am off the scale.

The world is constantly setting up models that they call “perfect!” There is the “perfect 10” model for example. They imply that attaining that model status is the ultimate goal. The models suppose two things: that it is possible to become equal to the model and that the model is an example of perfection. 

Let’s examine those thoughts for a minute. Let’s talk about the latter first: “that the model is an example of perfection.” Perfection, has a totally different look in the mind of God than it does in the thinking of our world. Excellence to God relates to His word, His will and His plan for our lives. Perfection to the world is hardly obtainable but is usually described in things that you can touch with your hands. Seldom does the world put perfection in the same realm with character, sacrifice, or spiritual qualities. Never does the world associate our measure of perfection with an example set up by Jesus Himself.

Now what about the first supposition: “it is possible to become equal to the model.” Part of the problem of worldly models is that they don’t stay the same. They drift, shift, and change.   This is touched on when Jesus talks about building our house on sand. (See Matthew 6:47-49) What is considered perfection today may not be considered thus tomorrow. One example: If you look at the art of the middle ages you may notice that many of the women were sporting quite the little pooch around the middle and seemed quite hefty. Supposedly, it was considered attractive for women to be plump during that time. During the 60’s models like Twiggy were considered the prime. Now in the 21st century we have other standards of what we consider “sexy” or beautiful. There really are no standards because standards change... which in fact, makes them not standards at all! (Does that make sense?)

Secondly, becoming equal to the model supposes that everyone has the same ability to become like the model. Many woman in the 60’s finally succumbed to the fact that, no matter how hard they tried, they could never reduce to the sticklike figure of a Twiggy.  Because we are all dealt a different hand, our model of perfection should look different from that of others. 

The model of Christ is obtainable though, and for anyone. God did not design a system that was only obtainable by a select few. No! The power to come to God’s perfection is readily at hand. Why can we all reach that model set up by God? We can reach it because He gave us all the tools and resources needed to be what He wanted us to be. We will never be able to blame God for asking us to be something and not giving us the raw materials to be just that. On top of that, the Spirit of God living in us, empowers us to change, to do, and more importantly, to succeed. Contained in you is everything you need to be perfect. Maybe this is why we read in Matthew 5:48 to “be perfect.” In God’s making you, “wonderfully”, He designed in you the ability to meet His standards of perfection.

What is perfection you ask. If I had to boil down what I think God would say about perfection to one thought, I guess, I would say this: Perfection is doing what God wants you to do, with what God gives you. 

By setting standards the world ascribes value to people. If I can’t reach the bar then I am not as valuable to the world. This is diametrically opposed to God’s system where the ultimate value is placed on all. And where God's design is perfect.

The way we feel about ourselves should always come through the filter of God’s word, His expectations, and His plan for us. We will seldom be able to match the perfection pattern that the world lays out for us. But we are designed to fit into the pattern God cut out for us... perfectly. The way we feel about ourselves will never negate how valuable we are to God. To hate, dislike, or devalue ourselves, in turn, says that God’s is not perfect in all He does. It says that our value of things is more important than God’s value system. 

Though I use the right shampoo, drive the right car, have the right weight, am I perfect? Or... will there be someone else that will come along and tell me that this perfection is wrong and I need a different perfection? Our personal goal is not to achieve a pattern that our world has set up but to come to a likeness of a perfect Christ.

Try looking at yourself through God’s eyes. When we value ourselves as God values us, we might see a different person in our mirror. We may not always be able to see what we think should change in us but it doesn’t annul what God is planning for us to be. Our shortcomings, should not become a excuse for not being what God demands of us, but, neither should they cause us to sell short the value God placed on us, and the ability He has to do something great with, and through, us. The trick is letting Him perfect us.

“No one is perfect” is relative. When God is the designer, the maker, and the guide of who we are, how can we be less than perfect. Maybe this is not "a perfect world”, but really who makes that call?

Tomorrow when I wake up and drag myself to the bathroom. I am going to say to the person in the mirror, “You look perfectly wonderful!”

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Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

The Parable of G and the Washer

Once there was a simple man named G. He worked in a automobile factory. The man worked hard every day. He gave the company a good days work for his pay. He would stay late to make sure the job was done right. He would help others with the problems they would have on their line. He went above and beyond the call of his resposibilities. 

Everyone in the factory loved G.

G’s job was to put bolts on the fender of the cars as they came down the line. Not a very illustrious job but still G was proud of what he did. He worked alone and stayed very busy all of his work day.

One day as G was working on a new model, he noticed that one of the nuts, on the bolts, that he placed on the fender, was very close to coming through the hole that was drilled for it. He knew that it would be easy for this bolt to come loose and possibly affect the whole fender. He knew that this potentially could be a big problem.

So G, concerned about the defect went to see the man responsible for the assembly of the cars and running the factory, Mr A. Mr. A. could not be found and no one knew where he was. G had been there many times with many ideas but had always been delayed or turned away. G went back to the assembly line and continued his work but was determined to discuss the problem with Mr. A.

Later, again, G went back to see Mr. A, this time his was able to meet with Mr. A. As he sat down to talk, Mr. A began to talk about his glorious cars and how they were so wonderful and how much people loved them. Mr. A. ranted that the cars were so glorious because of all he did to manage the plant. G knew that Mr. A. did not have time to listen to a simpleton like him,  so G went back to the assembly line and continued his work.

But ... G could not stop thinking about the issue and the problems it could cause. 

That night as G lay in bed, suddenly, as if from God, the solution hit him. “That’s it,” he thought. How could the fix be so simple. A smaller hole! That’s it!” 

G couldn’t wait to talk to Mr. A. the next day. After pitching the solution, Mr. A went into a long barrage of how that solution could not work, how much it would cost the company to buy smaller drill bits, and how it would require so many people to change. “You leave the thinking to me G,” said Mr. A., “We’ve got much bigger problems that I need to worry about.” 

G left feeling small and unimportant. He knew that his ideas were not valuable to Mr. A. Yet, G could not stop thinking about the problem. He tossed and turned that night laboring over the solution. In the middle of the night suddenly he sat up, again a heavenly thought hit him. “A washer before the nut!” He smiled, “That is the solution.” G thought of how wonderful it would be to look at the new plaque on his wall - “Mr G. - Worker of the year!” He had never received any awards before, but he just knew that this would be his big chance. He settled back into warm bed with a smile. As he slept that night, he dreamed of his fellow workers cheering and of Mr. A. presenting him with his plaque.

The next day G began his fix. On the way to work he bought thousands of washers. As he sat on the line that day, he would insert the washer first and then the nut. Somehow there was such a pride inside; he was making things better. He knew that He had done a good thing for his company.

After many months of working his secret fix, as G was on break, he overheard people talking. These were the people who worked in customer service. “I don’t know what they did, but I am getting no more complaints about those fenders,” said one of the people. “One of my customers said, now that the problem was gone, he was going to buy two of cars,” said another one.

G was so happy inside. He had caused the cars to be better without the company spending anymore money or making any changes. But George also knew that one day he would have to ask the company for money for the fix, he simply couldn’t afford buying thousands of washers every week.

Not long after, G was called into Mr. A. office. As G walked down the long hall, he beamed with pride, Finally G was going to receive that plaque, maybe a raise, maybe a special parking spot, but most of all, some much needed praise.

When G entered Mr. A.’s office there was a solemn look on Mr. A.’s face. “Who told you that you could put washers on those bolts?” said Mr. A. The longer G listened the littler and more insignificant he felt. Nothing that G said could get through to Mr. A. “I am the boss of this factory.” said Mr. A. “Nothing happens here until I say it happens.” With that Mr. A. slammed his fist on the desk and said, “We’ll have no more of that!” and pointed to the door.

G slowly opened the door and walked down the long hall. He felt so many emotions, anger, disappointment, but worse, for some reason G felt shame. G was drained of his passion to make the fender better. “I never was able to explain what I was trying to do,” thought G.

G sat down at the line again. His head hung low. He picked up the remainder of the washers and dropped them in the trash. 

That night G couldn’t sleep. He had always loved going to work and loved his job but he had no desire to go back. “Maybe it is time to do something else,” thought G. “Maybe I am too old for this.” 

From that day, when G went to his job, things were different. The building looked different, the line looked different. Soon people noticed that G was different. He still helped where he could, he still did a good job, but the spark was gone from his eye.

Not so many days after G had talked to Mr. A. G made a decision. After a long day at work G slipped a letter for Mr. A. under his door. The letter said...

Mr. A.

I have always loved my job and loved the cars that I helped to build. I wanted people to buy our cars and that was because I was proud of them. 

Lately we have taken many short cuts, and used cheap materials. We do not put the work into the cars that we use to and I have not been so proud of our cars. I feel that we have forgotten that our job is to make good cars.

Many people who work in this factory do not do a good job. They cause the company thousands of dollars and do not take pride in their work. I am not like them because I care about our cars and our company. I want it to be successful. I want to be proud to say, “I helped build that car.”

I care about the fenders on our cars.I know that seems trivial to someone in your position, but I wanted people to love the fenders on their cars. Because of that there is no one, on the line, who cares more about what happens to our company than me.

But, I see now that the company is going another direction. The things I think are important are not things that seem important to the company. I understand.

I cannot allow the problem with fender to go by when I am on the line. I love these cars too much. 

Thank you for allowing me to work here for all these years.

Goodbye,

G

G left the building to never return. His heart was broken. As he drove away, he turned and looked at the building that had been so meaningful to his life. A tear streamed down G’s cheek. “I will always love you,” G thought. “I will always be proud of the cars I built here.”

Many years later G was watching the news. There to his amazement was Mr. A. G sat down and turned up the volume. “Why is the factory closing?” asked one reporter. “Why were people so unhappy with your latest model?” ask another. “Did it have to do with the fender problem?” said another. “We stand by our decisions here at this factory. We are proud of our product.” said Mr. A as he plowed through the reporters and cameramen and stepped into his limo and slammed the door.

G drove by the factory one day. He got out of his car and stopped to look. The was a great sadness in his heart. He looked at the broken windows and the locks on the doors. He could see the rusted bench where he would sit for lunch and soak up the sun. He missed the people there, even Mr. A.

G walked to the padlocked gate and placed his hands on the fence. How he wished he could have changed things. Did anything he worked on, over those years there, really matter to anyone? “Bolts on a fender? Right! Who cares about that! ... No one!”

G was awaken from his thoughts by a car going by. It was one of the models he had worked on. The front fender was clanking and banging and making an awful racket. It shuttered. It stuck out of line with the smooth curvature of the rest of the beautiful car.

G smirked but then smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

As G turned to walk back to his car he passed the dumpster. It was empty now, no longer used. He read the factory name on the side and then the message below the logo, “We are proud of what we build!”

G lowered his head and started on but something caught his eye. There lying in the dirt and gravel was one of G’s washers. G picked it up and blew the dirt off. “Someday I’ll use this for something,” he thought. 

Fruit and the Transparent Toilet

Someone recently sent me this picture (above) and it made me think about my life as a christian. (Not that way!! Read on!) This is a picture of a public toilet located on a street in Houston ... in public view. The walls of the toilet are two-way mirrors. You can see out but no one can see in.

Most of us like our privacy. It is hard for us to be ourselves especially around folks we don’t know. When we are aware that people are noticing us, we tend to put on masks that make us what we want people to think we are, or what we think they want us to be. We all have, to some extent, multiple personalities. We are a different person to the people who live in our house, than the person who works at the drive-thru. We are different at a basketball game than at a gravesite.

I was sitting and talking with a group of pastors not long ago. As I listened they began to talk of a pastor at a very large well respected church. They spoke of a situation where the pastor of that church reacted to a situation in a very unchristian way. It definitely made a impression on those who were there and I could tell that the opinion of that pastor had definitely changed the way the people at table felt about him.

A few years ago there was a song that became very popular by the artist Cyndi Lauper. The song was call True Colors. Part of the chorus goes like this, 

    “But I see your true colors
    Shining through
    I see your true colors
    And that's why I love you
    So don't be afraid to let them show”

We use the phrase “true colors” when we talk about seeing who a person really is, or when we see someone’s true character. It is when the truth of a person’s inner qualities or values manifest itself. Circumstances that put pressure on us tend to bring out our true colors. Peterson writes, in the Message Bible, in Matthew the twelfth chapter:

    It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good     deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard.

Again in the Bible we read:

Matthew 7:16-18

You can tell what they are by what they do. No one picks grapes or figs from thornbushes. A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot produce good fruit.

By giving our hearts to Christ we are, in essence, asking Him to change the kind of tree we are. Prior to salvation we did not have the option of producing good fruit. We weren’t that kind of tree. We began to bear good fruit when we began to take on the nature of Christ. Christ is bearing good fruit through the character He produces in us.

After being saved we follow suite by being baptised. Baptism is a way of opening your fruit stand. In the ritual of baptism we are saying, publicly, “I am a christian now... come and take a look at my fruit.” We no longer have to “be afraid to let them show” because Christ is now producing His “ true colors” in us. 

    Matthew 3:8
    Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:

We like the privacy of being hidden in our own little worlds but if there are character flaws in us, our true colors will show. We should feel like someone sitting on that toilet, feeling totally exposed to the world, because we are, in effect, a constant show of His true colors. We are an advertisement to the world of who the Christ in us is. We tell people daily if christianity is real, and if it really can change lives. Every day, every contact we make, every word we speak, every action we take, may very well be viewed by someone who is questioning the legitimacy of christianity. Maybe that is part of the concept of Christ words when He said, “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” (Matthew 5:14, see context) 

An old song says, “No man is an island. No man stands alone.” We are christians now, but we still are part of the whole of humanity ... and the answer for it. Unless we are a hermit, we are a continual reminder of Christ and how He can bring peace, joy, and forgiveness, and how He can renovate a life.

Someone once said that character is who you are, when you are all alone and no one sees you. That is character, but I submit that character is also the you who bleeds out, after being isolated, into a world that experiences who you are.

There is no two-way glass for the christian. Every person we meet becomes our fruit inspector. We will not bear good fruit if our roots are not deeply grounded in Christ and His pattern for our lives. We can hide, or put on mask, or build facades, but eventually our true colors show.

There are many people who wear the jersey but really aren’t on our team. They have learned how to play the game of Christianity. They have learned the words to say, the actions to take, but they are not able to bear good fruit because they are not that kind of tree. Eventually we catch a whiff of rotten fruit and see their true colors.

The world is looking for Jesus (whether they understand it or not) but the only one they will ever see is you and me. As christians, we are sitting there exposing ourselves to all who care to take a look. And when the world sees good fruit it gives people the notion that maybe there is a God, maybe He does care, and maybe there is hope for them.

I think, as followers of Christ, it is good for us to feel exposed. It is a reminder that we are constantly under the microscope of those around us. It doesn’t have to make us feel uncomfortable though, when the fruit we bear is good fruit.

So ask God to help you see your character flaws. Maybe you should ask people close to you what they think your true colors are, and deal with the reality of their answers. God is about empowering us to change. And if you become firmly rooted in Him, you cannot help but produce good things.

As God begins to produce good fruit through you, you will not be negatively affected by people looking on. Then you have the confidence to ... (I have to say it) Go... into all the world...

Sticks and Stones... and Names Hurt A Lot

It is interesting how much the Bible talks about the tongue. I would guess of all the commands of the Bible, the ones about the way we talk are some of the most ignored. I am surprised by how many people who claim christianity can so blatantly ignore God’s instruction as though God doesn’t notice or that God would consider that part of His word trivial.

The main reason that God hates sin, is that sin hurts the thing that God loves most: people. The reason God speaks so clearly about the tongue is the ability that the tongue has to hurt people. The type of love that comes from God never hurts, brings down or destroys.

We are talking about the tongue but maybe it is more clear using the term, “words.” Words are so easy to say. They slide out of our mouths with such ease and many times, with very little thought. But they really come from our hearts. (See Matthew 15:18-19) Jesus told us that we could know someone by their fruits; we certainly can see a kind of fruit, from people, by the way they talk.

One thing that makes talking about others so unfair, is that, so many times people talk out of ignorance. They share their insights, coming from their perspective and seldom check the facts. Someone said that people tend to believe the first story they hear. Usually people are guilty until proven innocent. Once an accident happened in a major intersection. Several people were ask, by police, what had happened? Each person saw the same accident but from a different perspective. Each person told the police a different story. Sharing stories about others can be very different from the truth or can only be one perspective of it. For the most part what we say is taken as truth.

When someone gets pleasure from sharing someone’s wrongs or misfortunes, they certainly don’t have the love of Christ in their hearts. When we become Christians we never delight in wrongs because of the love that God places in our hearts. (see 1 Corinthians 13:6)

When someone get pleasure from hearing about someone’s calamities, failures, or problems, then they certainly are in poor company. (see Romans 1:29) Paul wrote to the Romans about people who found pleasure in others that do wrong. (see Romans 1:32b) If you look at the people who Paul talks about in this context, they are among those who are reprobate and have lost connection with God. 

Finding pleasure in anything but Godly activity can certainly be a warning sign that someone has lost the appropriate focus in their lives. The Christian should always be finding ways of worshipping God with their lives; even in words. (see Colossians 3:17) Christians should always be finding way to encourage others.

Speaking ill or criticism of God’s creation carries with it the suggestion that God somehow made a mistake or that God is somewhat powerless in the situation.

When you do see someone in struggles or having issues in life, then what is suppose to be the response? We know that God is displeased with gossip or harmful words. 1 John 3:17 (NCV) says this: “Suppose someone has enough to live and sees a brother or sister in need, but does not help. Then God's love is not living in that person.”  God is expecting actions from us that in some way help. If we ignore needs, then John says that God’s love is not in us. If our first response is to not to see the need but to criticize or badger, or gossip, we know that this is not a Godly response. Those things don’t come from a love that God puts inside us.

“But don’t tell anyone!” is a common way of placing a good stamp on a bad action. Some feel that if the message only goes to the closest friends that some how it ceases to be gossip. A gossip is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as  “A person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts.  Rumor or report of an intimate nature.” Telling a friend, or anyone, personal information (especially things we know we would not want shared about us) is gossip. It doesn’t have to be something bad that we are telling.

Gossip is an indicator of an unclean heart. (see Matt 15:10-20) Gossip is mentioned in the Bible in a list with many crimes that seem more serious. But bear in mind that God hates sin in any form. His judgement is reserved for the gossip as for the murderer.

The sin of gossip not only hurts the people who is being gossiped about, but the gossiper. It causes the one who gossips to sin. It causes the gossip to be viewed in a negative way, which can certainly hurt one’s witness. It causes the gossip to be viewed as a hypocrite for not staying true to the Bible they confess. It breaks even the social taboos that come with gossiping.

Bear in mind that the Devil can be the source of any thing we do that does not agree with God’s commands or truth. The things that come from the Devil are usually a pathway to harm. Our words can be used by him to cause others to be discouraged or fall from the path God has them on. I would not like to have that on my hands.

Words may be air flowing across vocal chords and mouth movements, but they are never trivial to God. Jesus tells us that every word we speak will be part of God’s judgement. (Matthew 12:36) God despises it when we use words in ways that do damage, (see Proverbs 6:16-19) and we may not see the damage they cause.

As christians our words should have purpose. Our words are suppose to build up, edify, and bring God’s message of hope and deliverance. They are to encourage when someone is down. They are to share God’s solutions for people’s struggles. They are to share a message that let’s people know that God loves them and sent His Son for them. 

Recently I have been hurt by people who have talked about me, thinking that they are just passing along truth. These people may have hurt my witness as well as theirs. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but the spreading of personal issues tend to hurt alot more. 

It is most hurtful when the people who talk about me claim two things. They claim to be my friends (people whom I have prayed with, sought God for, and helped in time of need) and... they claim to be Chrisitans. These people used the words that came from their perspective and never once spoke with me. They were not interested in my perspective. It hurts very much. I know what words can do. It takes a long time for wounds like these to heal.

So, let me encourage you to follow God’s direction. When we are obedience we reap blessings from our Father. When we are disobedient, we also reap what we sow. Only sow words of encouragement, some day you will not want to reap “Words that will hurt you.”

Pain: Life’s Greatest Teacher

C. S. Lewis once said, writing of God's will, that the reason people did not want to do God's will, was that they were afraid it would hurt.

I recently have understood this so much more than I wanted to. God's will can carry with it great amounts of discomfort. If you really do God's will, there may well be pain associated with it.

Sometimes the worst pain of all is not physical agony but the emotional affliction. I will never know how much Jesus suffered, in all that he went through. But I feel like I have a taste of the rejection that he felt.

I have held people's babies in my arms, have care for them and cried for them. I've waited long hours in waiting rooms. I've traveled far across town to pray for sick people, in the early hours of the morning, to offer them help and comfort. I have sat and listened to people, felt their sorrow and cried for (and with) them. I have poured my heart, my time, my energy, and my soul, into people's lives.  I have shared my home, my food, my finances, and my time. I have left my home to give a helping hand, and heard my family say "please don't go." I've traveled a far distance, away from family and long-time friends and lost those relationships. I have felt the sting of watching my family experience great pain because of how people treated me, and them.

I know that I fall short, very short, of who Jesus was, and who He wants me to be. I would never compare myself to Him or my pain with His. But in all these situations I have realized that I have connected with him. I understand more than ever what he must of felt to have those who He had eaten with, who said they loved Him, who worked beside Him, who ask for so much from Him, then... at His time of distress, reject Him. The time He needed them most they were nowhere to be found.

Maybe in some way I have experienced what Paul talked about when he said:

"That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings..." Phil.3:10  I hope that I will experience the power of His resurrection, not only at the resurrection, but that kind of power in my living. But maybe there is more to “fellowshipping” with Christ.

It is funny how that pain seems to be the best tool that God has to speak to us. In pain we seem to pay attention. Pain whacks us hard on the back of our legs (our stability) and we buckle under it's torment. Then suddenly we realize, we are on our knees... right where God wants us to be. 

Who wants pain? No one. But it seems to be, as Paul says, part of our experience of Christ. It allows us to fellowship with Him in a more intimate way, to know Him in a way that brings His humanness back to our minds. It reminds us that Christ ‘felt.’ That He is not stranger to our suffering, our discomfort, and our displeasure with a life and a world that seems to be so full of lessons tied to despair, agony, and distress.

Pain’s instruction seems to be so much more burned into our memory, than those moments of happiness. With pain comes the sign that it was part of who we are, the scars. Some we carry for a lifetime, a constant reminder of suffering’s lessons.

So there must be something to this study of pain, this course that God makes us take. Not even Jesus was spared from it’s affliction. God saw that it was necessary even for Him. God seldom removes all pain from life. All social, economic, cultural, maturity divisions are crossed by this curse. No safe place can we hide from it’s clinch. No inoculation from it’s irritation.

Maybe it is true what they say, “No pain, no gain.” What could we really consider a “gain” unless we pay something for it. What in life has value without great price. What lessons do we learn from the mundane, or status quo. What challenges are their in drifting? How do we understand or appreciate the heights of happiness without the valleys of pain?

I would like to pray to God and ask Him to remove all my pain. “Please,” my flesh cries out, “never let me experience it again! ” Yet, there in suffocating heat, that dark canyon of pain, seems to be God’s hand. Not there to pull us up and out of our anguish but to pull us through it. The hurt causes us to reach out and grab hold of God in a way that we never would have.

The scars are medals of honor. Perhaps a reward.  They are also a constant tap on our shoulders, a post-it on our forehead, that says “Look what God brought you through. Look what God can do. Look how you have changed and become more like your maker.” 

Pressure applied to an ugly, shapeless, useless lump of clay can form a beautiful, wonderfully elegant shaped pot or vase. Then the heat it endures in the kiln makes it useful and allows it to serve it’s purpose. 

"What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, 'Stop, you're doing it wrong!' Does the pot exclaim, 'How clumsy can you be?' - Isa. 45:9

Because of the suffering of Christ, we can never claim that He doesn’t understand our pain. Because of the reality of life, we have to suppose that God allows pain. Because of the change brought out by distress and discomfort in our lives, we must see that God’s uses it. 

We hide from pain as much as we can, but when it finds us, we can’t let it waste it’s power or it’s purpose. Don’t let the gift of change, that God often wraps in pain remain unopened.  Don’t suffer in vain, BUT when pain comes (and it will) let it drive you to a place with God, an understanding of Him, like you have never had and will never leave. 

Wear your medals with pride. Let your scars of courage testify to the world, that you have a God who loves you even in the midst of agony, and your faith in Him, your trust in His ways, your love for Him is so indestructible, that not even pain can turn you from Him.

The Parable of the Friends Gift

There were two little boys who loved to play with each other. One was tall thin and had freckles scattered about his whole face. They were like stars in the sky. His name was Freddy but his friends called him Dots, because of all his freckles. The other boy was short and pudgy. His name was Leroy but all the kids called him Tiny. Tiny loved to laugh and play. Mostly he loved to be with Dots.

Every day Dots and Tiny would walk to the park and play soldiers. Each day they would win the war together and then place cockleburs on their shirts like metals. After the war they would run to the other side of town to the Dairy Queen for an ice cream sandwich. Each night they would sit on the back porch and talk about their day, until their mothers would make them come in for supper.

Every summer the two boys would go to camp together. They were in the same class at school. They liked the same t.v. shows. They played on the same team. Everyone who knew the boys, knew that if one was there, the other could not be far away. They were inseparable.

Never were two boys better friends than these. Never was there such a love between two children. Few friendships had ever grown to this intensity. 

For years the boys lived in houses that shared a fence. They would call to each other from their upstairs windows and make plans for the next day. Even when their mothers would scold them for talking, and not sleeping, they would flash messages with their flashlights from one bedroom window to the other.

One year Tiny wanted to get Dots something nice for his birthday. Tiny knew there was one thing that Dots had always wanted. So Tiny pulled the big jar out of his closet. It was now full of shiny coins that had taken him many years to save. Tiny poured all the coins onto his calico rug and began to stack the coins. 

Tiny had noticed the way that Dots always stopped at the hardware window. He stopped to admire the red bicycle that sat in the window. “Wonder how fast she will go? Wonder how far you could go in one day? I just wonder!” were always his words. Dots had left many finger and nose prints on that window. Tiny supposed that the man who cleaned them off should have just left them, because, they we just gonna be there again the next day.

Two days later Tiny walked to the hardware store. His rug was slung over his shoulder, like Santa’s bag, and was full of jingling coins. “One hundred and thirty four dollars and sixteen cents,” said Tiny as he struggled to put the rug full of coins on the counter. “I want to buy that bike in the window. It is one hundred and thirty two dollars,” he said in one breath. 

Neither of the boys had ever had a bicycle, because you see, their families were very poor. They had often dreamed of owning one like that one that sat in the window. It seemed an illusive dream.

Dots loved the bike more than anything he had ever received as a gift. Often he would ride Tiny on the handlebars for miles and miles. They were able now to go so much farther than they could walk much farther than Dairy Queen.

There came the day when Dots wanted to go over the big hill. “Over the big hill?” questioned Tiny. “That is too far! My mother would never allow me to go that far off.” But Dots was determined to go. “Your mother will not let you go, Dots!” said Tiny. 

“I know!” said Dots, “But I gotta know what is over there!”

So Dots went over the big hill. When he returned, he told Tiny the story of a carnival that was there. He told how he peeked under the edge of the tent and of all the wonderful things he saw. “Some day I am going to be in the circus,” said Dots. “Maybe I will do tricks on my bike; tricks like no one ever did before, like riding it on the high wire.”

Dots would disappear over the hill. How Tiny wished he could go, but he knew how angry his mother would be. So each day he waved goodbye as his friend would ride off to his daily adventure.

One day, as Tiny sat alone on his front steps, he felt sad inside. It had been a long time since he and Dots had played in the park, or won the war, or sat on the curb licking their ice cream sandwiches. Tiny felt something he had never felt before - real loneliness. His heart was breaking because it had been months since he had been with his friend. The only time he would see his friend was as he watched Dots ride out of sight on his bike.

Tiny knew how much Dots loved his bike, but something inside made him feel sorry that he had given his friend that gift. 

After a long time of not seeing Dots, Tiny decided to tell Dots about his loneliness. He walked to Dots’s house. As he mounted the step, he could smell the dinner cooking through the screen door. But he also could hear the muffled sound of crying. He knocked on the door. Dots’ mother came to the door. “Mrs’ P, can I talk to Dots?”

“I can’t find him. I was hoping that you knew where he was. We are frantic!” said Mrs P. “He left this morning on his bike and we haven’t seen him since,” she said with great distress in her voice.

Many years passed. Tiny now stood on top of the big hill. He was old enough to go where he wanted now. Tiny looked down where the carnival used to come to town. They did not come anymore.

His friend was gone. The sadness of losing Dots was still breaking his heart; it seems just as strong as those days, when he sat on the steps, crying and wishing for Dots’ return.

“I wished I had never given him that bike,” thought Tiny.

Morale: Even the good things, that God gives us, can take us away from Him.