Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Sticks and Stones... and Names Hurt A Lot

It is interesting how much the Bible talks about the tongue. I would guess of all the commands of the Bible, the ones about the way we talk are some of the most ignored. I am surprised by how many people who claim christianity can so blatantly ignore God’s instruction as though God doesn’t notice or that God would consider that part of His word trivial.
The main reason that God hates sin, is that sin hurts the thing that God loves most: people. The reason God speaks so clearly about the tongue is the ability that the tongue has to hurt people. The type of love that comes from God never hurts, brings down or destroys.
We are talking about the tongue but maybe it is more clear using the term, “words.” Words are so easy to say. They slide out of our mouths with such ease and many times, with very little thought. But they really come from our hearts. (See Matthew 15:18-19) Jesus told us that we could know someone by their fruits; we certainly can see a kind of fruit, from people, by the way they talk.
One thing that makes talking about others so unfair, is that, so many times people talk out of ignorance. They share their insights, coming from their perspective and seldom check the facts. Someone said that people tend to believe the first story they hear. Usually people are guilty until proven innocent. Once an accident happened in a major intersection. Several people were ask, by police, what had happened? Each person saw the same accident but from a different perspective. Each person told the police a different story. Sharing stories about others can be very different from the truth or can only be one perspective of it. For the most part what we say is taken as truth.
When someone gets pleasure from sharing someone’s wrongs or misfortunes, they certainly don’t have the love of Christ in their hearts. When we become Christians we never delight in wrongs because of the love that God places in our hearts. (see 1 Corinthians 13:6)
When someone get pleasure from hearing about someone’s calamities, failures, or problems, then they certainly are in poor company. (see Romans 1:29) Paul wrote to the Romans about people who found pleasure in others that do wrong. (see Romans 1:32b) If you look at the people who Paul talks about in this context, they are among those who are reprobate and have lost connection with God. 
Finding pleasure in anything but Godly activity can certainly be a warning sign that someone has lost the appropriate focus in their lives. The Christian should always be finding ways of worshipping God with their lives; even in words. (see Colossians 3:17) Christians should always be finding way to encourage others.
Speaking ill or criticism of God’s creation carries with it the suggestion that God somehow made a mistake or that God is somewhat powerless in the situation.
When you do see someone in struggles or having issues in life, then what is suppose to be the response? We know that God is displeased with gossip or harmful words. 1 John 3:17 (NCV) says this: “Suppose someone has enough to live and sees a brother or sister in need, but does not help. Then God's love is not living in that person.”  God is expecting actions from us that in some way help. If we ignore needs, then John says that God’s love is not in us. If our first response is to not to see the need but to criticize or badger, or gossip, we know that this is not a Godly response. Those things don’t come from a love that God puts inside us.
“But don’t tell anyone!” is a common way of placing a good stamp on a bad action. Some feel that if the message only goes to the closest friends that some how it ceases to be gossip. A gossip is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as  “A person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts.  Rumor or report of an intimate nature.” Telling a friend, or anyone, personal information (especially things we know we would not want shared about us) is gossip. It doesn’t have to be something bad that we are telling.
Gossip is an indicator of an unclean heart. (see Matt 15:10-20) Gossip is mentioned in the Bible in a list with many crimes that seem more serious. But bear in mind that God hates sin in any form. His judgement is reserved for the gossip as for the murderer.
The sin of gossip not only hurts the people who is being gossiped about, but the gossiper. It causes the one who gossips to sin. It causes the gossip to be viewed in a negative way, which can certainly hurt one’s witness. It causes the gossip to be viewed as a hypocrite for not staying true to the Bible they confess. It breaks even the social taboos that come with gossiping.
Bear in mind that the Devil can be the source of any thing we do that does not agree with God’s commands or truth. The things that come from the Devil are usually a pathway to harm. Our words can be used by him to cause others to be discouraged or fall from the path God has them on. I would not like to have that on my hands.
Words may be air flowing across vocal chords and mouth movements, but they are never trivial to God. Jesus tells us that every word we speak will be part of God’s judgement. (Matthew 12:36) God despises it when we use words in ways that do damage, (see Proverbs 6:16-19) and we may not see the damage they cause.
As christians our words should have purpose. Our words are suppose to build up, edify, and bring God’s message of hope and deliverance. They are to encourage when someone is down. They are to share God’s solutions for people’s struggles. They are to share a message that let’s people know that God loves them and sent His Son for them. 
Recently I have been hurt by people who have talked about me, thinking that they are just passing along truth. These people may have hurt my witness as well as theirs. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but the spreading of personal issues tend to hurt alot more. 
It is most hurtful when the people who talk about me claim two things. They claim to be my friends (people whom I have prayed with, sought God for, and helped in time of need) and... they claim to be Chrisitans. These people used the words that came from their perspective and never once spoke with me. They were not interested in my perspective. It hurts very much. I know what words can do. It takes a long time for wounds like these to heal.
So, let me encourage you to follow God’s direction. When we are obedience we reap blessings from our Father. When we are disobedient, we also reap what we sow. Only sow words of encouragement, some day you will not want to reap “Words that will hurt you.”

No comments: